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Email:   vulcan@anarchocat.com

I was at a birthday party on Saturday.

There it was really hot. She was an old girl, just an old one of 70, and still pretty wild about new acquaintances. Good old Lenora* has a really big heart.

When I came in, she hugged the Gauland and the Storch. He just drooled joy-drunk something like fly shit. Beside them stood the slightly debile 'Mir san Mir'* and looked all yearning. Yes, I can understand them, the Seehofer, the Stoiber and the Dorothea Bear. No one really loves them. Oh and back there, the Söder with the Bescheuert, if they' re once again plotting an intrigue?

The fuck-ups* were standing a little aside and were bored. Everybody knows it: the Merkelwürdig, the fat Altmeyer, the Klöckner and the Leidenvoll. They brought along their little animals, a species of the SPDeler* found only in Lenoria. It's funny how they scurried around the legs of their masters. Sometimes they also barked, but only to get attention. Then the Merkelwürdig let her lick her fingers, ( she is really mean of nothing!). Then again everything was quiet.

For the Klinke* Frau Warmalgerecht had come and for the Neidhammel* as always completely in yellow the Gelindegesagt.

A few GRÜNE garden gnomes* were also occasionally seen, but they were only stoned.

When Lenora noticed me, she approached me and welcomed me:

"Hello citizens, welcome. I'm glad if you come and go inconspicuously again"!

"I can see you are in 'best' company," I said.

"Yes, isn't it? Unfortunately, some of them have cancelled." She moaned.

" Who?"

"Well, for instance: the democracy, the freedom, the human dignity and the Basic Law and still others," she said.

"And why?"

" They said that they would no longer be suited to me and that they would still only disturb the wonderful party. Say once, citizens. Can you understand this?"

"Forget them! They think they are only better." the Seehofer burst into our conversation.

"I must take care of my guests again! Thank you, citizen, for your congratulations! And don't forget: It's also nice when you leave again!" She said while leaving.

I left.

I had to puke extensively in the fresh air.

* Lenoria = Germany, by Lenor, a well-known fabric softener

The German parties:

* Fuck-Ups = CDU

* Mir sa Mir = CSU

* SPDeler PETS = SPD

* KLinke = the Kommunist

* Neihammel = FDP

* green garden gnomes = GRÜNE