Selima and Aleyna had left, and I was sitting together with my best friend, Gadi.
"What do you think, Gadi, should I add more Muslim content to my videos?" I asked her.
"Of course, Islam has reached you long ago. When your videos demonstrate the way to the true faith, maybe other young people who are on their way will also be encouraged. I believe Allah will love it."
"What, you think I want to become a Muslimah? You can't be serious", I felt slightly shocked.
"Do you still remember when we met at the 'Young Patriots', how you behaved there? Don't you think I wouldn't have noticed how you pretended and in the restaurant, how you acted, do you think we didn't see how you trying to manipulate us," banged me in the face. I first had to digest that.
"Yes. You're right. At that time I thought everything had to benefit my career. Today I think that there must be something else in life. Our friendship is much more important to me today than idiotic videos in which I entice the kits to consumption. I think I'm still a little afraid of the new. Give me some time, and I want to think about what you said to me," I commented.
"For today we had plenty of tea." I got up.
"I still have some cans of coke in the fridge. What do you think?"
"Yes, great! Must have been a long time ago that I drank the brown sugar water and think of the straws," she called after me.
"Straws?" I thought when I passed the full body mirror in the hallway. I had forgotten my veils entirely. How could that be? Even the limited view through the tiny embroideries had gotten me so used to it that I didn't notice it anymore. I remained in front of the mirror and looked at this cone. When I moved, the colours of my veils hardly changed noticeably in the light. If I stood there motionless, I suddenly saw myself, and it shot through my head what Gadi had said to me: "...Islam has reached you long ago...". Suddenly my fear was gone. I felt free and protected under my veils. I first noticed Gadi approaching me taking my hand. For a while, we were standing silent in front of the mirror. There was no need for any more talking on my part. I had arrived and was as happy as ever in my life.
"Gadi! Is what is speaking into me, God? "
"Allah to be precise. It is a spiritual experience, a gift. It is time for me to go. I still have to say my prayers. Do you want to come along with me? I don't want you to be alone this time! We could all pray together, and you would stay overnight," she asked me. I didn't want to spend time alone in my apartment. I nodded, gratefully.
"Then come on, lets clean it up here and then we will go to my flat. But first, a question, would you like that I teach you the way to find true faith?
"Then I will give you the first advice! No matter what you do from now on, always ask yourself if Allah likes it and then say: 'All in his name', then gather yourself together for one or two seconds.", She advised me. Before we cleared the table and went into the kitchen to wash the dishes, we said together: 'All in his name'. It was strange and somehow lovely to work with my girlfriend, both deeply veiled and dumb. I was going to wrap up something to dress for the night, but Gadi just said,
"Toothbrush is enough anything else you can get by me". When we stepped onto the street, she reminded me, and we whispered again: All in his name, and as people stared at us, I became aware yet that I was veiled. Gadi whispered to me:
"Look how people admire your veils. However, you are beautiful inside them."
"This is your fault now" I replied jokingly, but also a little proudly. Being veiled deep in public was strange. No one could recognise you. You could be any woman, and that was what it was about, I now realised. You didn't belong in the streets. Why Muslim women are never unaccompanied became suddenly clear to me. It was only right, for Allah liked it. In his name! We walked calmly to Gadi's apartment with our heads slightly lowered. Before we entered her apartment, I said on my own: 'All in his name'. She went straight to the windows and closed the curtains. Then we took off our Ruband and Khimar. Gadi looked at me and laughed. " Have a look in the mirror," she said. A bright red, small triangle with smeared make-up looked out of the veils into the mirror.
"Go take a shower. I'll lay it all out for you for the night." Then, like Gadi, I wore a long white nightgown with an overhead abaya. She hardly owned any furniture. Only pillows and a low table were in the living room. I couldn't find a TV or Hi-Fi system. In one corner I saw a particularly valuable carpet and a small frame with the holy Koran on it. It was her corner for prayer, precisely aligned to Mecca. Gadi brought a second carpet for me and then she instructed me in the prayers. Not without first saying 'All in his name'. Then I prayed, I guess for the first time in my life. We used the time until supper for reading in the Koran. When we had eaten and cleaned up the kitchen, we chatted a little. Then we prayed and gone to bed. We lay close together and cuddled, and suddenly I had to howl like a watchdog.
"Lisa, what is wrong with you", Gadi asked worriedly.
"World pain, nothing bad, I already have sometimes," I sniffed.
"Let's talk, girl, only if you want." And for the first time in my life, I confided in another person. I said to her that I was a single child and that my parents had given me to care when I was a baby. There was never time for me and never in my whole life did I share a bed with anyone. I was always single and lonely. While I was talking, I was lying in her arms, and there was nothing sexual, there was pure sibling love.
"That explains how you behaved extroverted. Fear of being well-liked, yet you have to produce yourself constantly in the presence of other people. You have a fat, fat behavioural imbalance! You urgently need human affection and especially more control. I want to help you because you are like a sister I never had," said Gadi. We were nearly the same age, but compared to her, I as the big YouPub star was immature and stupid.
"Please, help me! So what do I have to do", I asked.
"First stay with me. We'll see! She was an influential person, and in the security of her arms I fell into a deep sleep: 'All in his name'.